December 18, 2011 by admin.

Today, we had the privilege of visiting with veteran missionary, Terry McClure who is currently in the USA on furlough. He and his family minister to the people on the Islands of Palau in Micronesia- You need to Google that! :)  Bro. McClure has done a series of Bible studies that will help not only children, but adults as well. I am going to be posting bits and pieces of his studies (hopefully once a week!) to help generate some traffic to his site www.mcclureministries.com . The whole series on 36 lessons on CDRom is available for $30. It is well worth the price, I guarantee it. Please visit his site and for answers to your questions, please email Bro. Terry at terry@mcclureministries.com   So I’ll try and post the first lesson as soon as Christmas is done and get on a regular schedule to help all of us homeschoolers who lose our umph after the holidays! LOL

Posted in philosophy, Bible, projects, prayer, beginning, homeschooling, hints, Uncategorized | No Comments »

October 30, 2010 by admin.

GED’s - To take or not to take.

There is one issue that keeps coming to my attention by would-be homeschoolers, or hesitant parents who are thinking about homeschooling. It is the diploma -vs.- GED issue. Parents who have not homeschooled before are sometimes leery of GED, since before the era of homeschooling popularity, having a GED meant you could not pass public school criteria, or that you were a drop-out. Not so in today’s society. GED is not just for ‘losers’ anymore! J So, leaving that aspect and going on to what I would really like to address, lets focus on experienced homeschoolers with children reaching their high school years. The question- Should I allow my child to get a GED?

Most people hope their children will continue to follow the ideas they have been taught as they grow up. That’s the whole purpose in homeschooling, in a way- to (ourselves) mold our children into the adults we believe would benefit the Lord and society in the best possible manner. Most homeschoolers wish that their children would grow up and homeschool their own children, eventually.

To begin homeschooling in the state of WV, you must have a diploma or a GED. Thus, if our children wish to homeschool their own children later, they must have a GED, since WV does not grant diplomas to homeschoolers. (Neither do they accept the credits of most Christian schools if you decide to put him/her in public school. Nor will they accept a Christian school diploma.)

Some people who do not live in a state with said requirement, have expressed that they feel that getting a GED is a bad example to other homeschoolers. They feel that it is a compromise on the part of a homeschooling (especially Christian) family to comply with the status-quo of passing a ‘secular’ (in this case) standardized test.

Some of the main arguments for this thinking are:

1. The relinquishment of parental rights must always be guarded against when dealing with civil and educational government standards.

2. As Christians we are told to ‘come out from among them and be ye separate’. (2 Cor 6:14-17)

3. We should never put our children into situations which we think may be harmful to their spiritual well-being.

4. It may be a flawed theory, that passing a standardized test or not, determines a person’s ability or knowledge. Some folks test well while others freeze up.

On the other hand:

1. Just because you comply with a civil law to attain an end, -ie homeschooling-, doesn’t mean you are compromising your standards or rights (given by the government, by the way) as parents. Civil government is always obeyed in Scripture when it does not go against the laws and/or precepts of God. (Matt 17:27, Rom.13:1-8, Titus 3:1 are some examples)

2. It is agreed that Christians should be separate from the world system, for we have no part in their wickedness or gain. This world is not our home, we are just passing through; pilgrims and sojourners in this place. Therefore, we are technically in bondage to those ‘higher powers’ we read about in Rom. 13. The Bible never contradicts itself. I believe, to be in compliance with their rules, (as long as it doesn’t contradict the laws of God) is the will of God. I have heard it said, “We are to be IN the world, but not OF the world.”

3. Will it hurt my child spiritually? This is kind of ‘touchy’. First, it is understood that all children are not alike in their spirituality. (As a matter of fact, I’ve never seen a spiritual child. I have seen many kids sing, quote the Bible, and even witness for Jesus- RIGHT before they hit their sister and throw a temper tantrum. But I digress. J ). Nevertheless, a child, by the age of 16 or 17, should they have come to the knowledge of Jesus Christ, will probably be able to experience the ‘world’ and discern good from evil. We all must learn to choose the good and refuse the evil. There will come a time when your child MUST choose for him/her self. One of the hardest things a parent must do is let go of their control, and let their child have a relationship with the Lord. I am of the opinion that if your child cannot discern the lies perpetuated by the world system by the time they are ready to graduate from high school, you have not done your job as a parent. As far as their spiritual well-being when they are out from under your tutelage, it is up to you whether to teach the right thing or not, but it is the Lord who must protect them and keep them unspotted. (2 Peter 2:9, Prov. 21:31, Prov.16:7)

It is up to you as well, as to how you tell your child to answer such questions that may occur. Do they answer them the way the test makers expect, or do they answer in the Biblical way? Well, are they there to pass a test or teach Sunday School? Before you stone me for blasphemy, I am in no wise saying be hypocritical or double-minded. However, you are not about to change the test makers’ minds if you do not answer a question the way they want it answered just because you do not believe in evolution. On a GED, there is no place for a written-in opinion. Honestly, in my experience of standardized tests, there are SOME things that need to be warned of, and some things are just silly. If you’ve done your job, your teenager will know there are no 5 million year old “anythings”. Answer the question they way they want it to be answered and know that it is a lie. Simple.

4. I don’t think I have a Biblical answer for this one. I agree with the non-testers in this aspect, actually, having three children, none of which are alike when it comes to testing. I do think, however, that you cannot keep tests of some kind from entering into the life of your youngster. God tests us and tries us according to our abilities and strengths, AND to reveal to us his will, AND to exercise our faith. I have yet to sit down with paper and pencil and hand in a written test to the Lord, but tested, I have been and will continue to be. Also, I don’t believe God is a ‘standardized’ tester. (Rom. 12.) I also believe that we must study to show ourselves approved unto God, but not only to Him. It boils down to, there are some things that you don’t like to do which may be hard, but they may be a necessary stepping stone toward a higher goal.

By the way, most colleges do not require a diploma or GED for admission, but they do require an SAT or ACT. I don’t know about Bible Colleges, but if they are accredited colleges, I would assume they would require an SAT or ACT (which are ‘secular’ standardized tests) and which opens up a whole new subject as to how to further your child’s education. Once again, a college diploma trumps a high school diploma or a GED - unless the college degree is from a non-accredited college.

As parents, the one thing we must do is pray that we make the right decisions to the GLORY OF GOD. Some people’s decisions are not meant to be others’ decisions as long as God gets the glory. Compromising should never be an option when it comes to the gospel or the fundamentals of the Bible, OR of the scriptures themselves- but let’s be sure that when we think others are compromising, we are not judging a matter out of pride, strife or our own vain glory- even to the point of whether or not others homeschool! To GOD be the glory. (Question, Non-homeschoolers-CAN you glorify God by NOT homeschooling? Can you honestly say that sending your child to a public school WILL bring glory to God? Think long and hard about that before judging the homeschoolers.)

Though I have decided to homeschool and are aware of some obvious benefits, if someone else does not home school their children, but Jesus gets the glory, what have I to say about that? All I am here to do is to share the benefits of homeschooling from the get-go and hope folks take my advice. I have nothing to say to parents who decide against homeschooling that the Lord will not deal with later on if he doesn‘t get the glory. Be assured, homeschooler or not, we WILL be judged for our actions.

“To actuate an idea for a noble cause is not as noble as to follow a great leader; our leader being the Lord Jesus himself.”

(By the way…has someone already coined that phrase, because if not, I claim it! J )

Posted in standardized testing, prayer, homeschooling | 4 Comments »

August 31, 2010 by admin.

“Focusing on the big picture” is necessary when home schooling. When we don’t focus on the big picture - the result of our efforts plus God’s grace- we get tunnel vision. One of the biggest pitfalls of home schooling failures is that they got tunnel vision- only seeing a small pinpoint of light, and (eventually)wondering when the end will come!

On the road home to WV from NC there is a tunnel through Big Walker Mountain. I will never forget one trip when the traffic was backed up for over 20 miles before the tunnel! As we got closer to the tunnel, we could see that they had one lane closed and were painting lines on the road. There was an exit right before the tunnel. (I think they kept that exit just for claustrophobics!) Well, when there are three females in a vehicle for a long period of time- let’s just say that is why they make rest areas! By the time we got to that mess, we were about to float through the tunnel and it didn’t seem like traffic was going to move for a while, so we elected to go OVER the mountain.

Once we got moving again (and breathing air that was not laden with paint fumes!) we saw the most beautiful farms and rolling hills! The sky actually looked bluer, and we even ‘mooed’ at the cows in the pasture. J Sure, it took a longer time to go over the mountain, and the gas station on the other side of the tunnel was the same one we stopped at when we came down the other side of the hill, but we were no longer stressed and grouchy at one another. It was a FUN journey. One that I would like to take again some day.

In comparison, many a new home schooling Mom has picked up her curriculum at a curriculum fair with delusions of grandeur (okay, maybe that’s too strong) -visions of excellence- dancing in their brains. Instead of choosing curriculum based on usable, everyday knowledge, we are lured by bright colors and/or name brand, shiny, excellently printed, streamlined and organized materials. As we pick up the package, we see our son or daughter at the next homeschool fellowship standing in front of a three sided cork board with a pointy, white stick discussing the plans for a new rocket designed to reach the north star! Well, not saying that can’t happen, for obviously in our history, people have done great things, but this should not be the main goal! If it happens, thank the Lord! Until it does, teach what is necessary to inspire greatness, and leave the promotion to God. J

Tunnel vision says that if Junior or Susie did not get 90% on all quizzes and tests he/she did not apply him/herself. The big picture says that your child knows 90% of the materials presented! If you feel that the other ten percent is absolutely necessary for their life goals, and they might not learn those facts later on, then by all means continue to teach that material until your child knows it. Otherwise, chalk it up to human error. (You know, chances are that if you give the same test a week later, after explaining the wrong answers, they may get a higher score. And chances are, if you go over the wrong answers you will find they say something like, “Oh! I knew that! I didn’t mean to put that answer!”)

Now, some of my homeschooling friends would chastise me right now for being mediocre and rearing my children without a full-throttle gung-ho attitude. “If we don’t aspire to greatness,” they say, “others will, and we will have a bad testimony for Christ and for homeschoolers everywhere!” Well, just call me a mountain of mediocrity, I guess. I think it was the Apostle Paul who said to let your moderation be known to all men, and that although he was a learned man, he chose to know nothing among some folks save Jesus Christ and him crucified. Don’t get me wrong, though, he CHOSE not to know anything among SOME folks. The point is that Paul had the big picture. He was learned and educated, but he wasn’t proud about it. You know what he counted all that as! He knew what was important in life and that was to attain Christ. To know HIM. To show others who Jesus Christ is and what His desire for our lives is.

We must take heed, therefore, to stave off the condition of tunnel vision as we go through the tunnel of homeschooling - for it IS just that- (just a part of the whole road of life) Let us not be forgetting that there is a whole valley opening up just beyond the 12^th grade!

All that aside. Maybe I am justifying my lack of Math skills? That sounds like a random thought, but it’s actually pertinent. I tried last year to do Algebra. I didn’t do so well. I am going on 39 years old. All of 25 years ago I was in an Algebra class in 8^th grade. I failed that class and every other Algebra class I have ever tried to go through since. I guess I’m going to try it again this year just because I have something to prove to myself. At this point I don’t’ know if it will ever get done, but I’m mad enough at the Algebra god to push him over a cliff! He plagues my dreams with visions of X and Y - that doesn’t do anything to help that Biology class the kids are taking- and makes me think in parentheses! (Well, sorta). See what I mean. J

If I don’t watch out, I can get tunnel vision. I will forget that I have lived those 25+ years in happiness and peace without EVER solving for X. Am I mediocre because I don’t think in terms of Algebraic expressions and polynomials? I don’t know, but in the big picture, I don’t think many people care. Well, except those rocket scientists. Whom, I guess, are needful to society. When your child reaches that goal, forgive me for my ignorance, please.

In all honesty, if I could ever have finished my grocery shopping with the aid of X, I may have tried to use her. She just doesn’t make herself available! J Dusting with the aid of Y may have encouraged me, since he might have saved me some time - um, after I did the problem to solve for the amount of time it would take to dust the area of my home before I started to actually do the work.

So, did I do it the hard way?

I guess sometimes you just have to go OVER the mountain and not through the tunnel!

Posted in attitude, philosophy, Algebra, curriculum, hints, beginning, homeschooling | No Comments »

June 1, 2010 by admin.

One of my dear Sisters in Christ has given me this article about a gardening project their church homeschool group did this spring!  I was very impressed with it, and thought I would share it with  you!  I took pictures of the garden..but can’t find them!  (Sorry, Angie, things got a bit hectic after that Saturday hehe)  ENJOY!!!

Lasagna Gardening

                Well the Lord has blessed us with another spring, and with spring comes gardening. If any of you are from the country, I am sure you hear the buzz of information that comes along with this time of year.  I was asked to share a little about some information that I have found myself about lasagna gardening. I hope you will enjoy and learn from it.

                Lasagna gardening is a quick, easy way to start a garden. It would be great for a home schooling project, for people with little space or tools, or it also works great for the older generation that loves to garden but may not be able to do all the labor of traditional gardening.

                I first learned about lasagna gardening by watching a video by the West Ladies called Homestead Blessings Gardening ( www.homestead-blessings.com).  I also found the book by Patricia Lanza Lasagna Gardening at the library. It goes through all the information you will need for this type of gardening. Ms. Lanza started the idea of lasagna gardening when her children left home and she had to do the gardening herself and found that it worked wonderfully. I would like to encourage you to check out this book if you are interested in serious gardening or if you are just starting, it has so many good points.

                The reason it is called lasagna gardening is because you layer the material to make a raised bed. You use any organic material that you can get like leaves, grass clippings, barn litter, compost, peat moss, straw…. just any organic mulch or things you would put in a compost pile (no meat scraps) . This is like making a big compost pile in layers and planting in it.  Your first layer would be cardboard or a double layer of wet newspapers to kill the grass and promote earthworms. Then just layer and put your plants in and you have an instant garden.  The book suggests to layer peat moss in every other layer but the video didn’t, they just used straw, manure, leaves, and compost. Be creative and look around for what you have or you can buy things at the store.

                We recently had a ladies gathering for our church where we made a lasagna garden to plant herbs. We used cardboard, composted dirt, leaves, old grass clippings, and peat moss. It came together fast and easy. We had a great time planting and discussing the herbs. The best thing is by adding mulch through the year we won’t have to worry about weeding the little 3×3 herb garden we constructed.

                I hope you try lasagna gardening for yourself and I pray that the Lord will bless you with a wonderful harvest.

Blessings,

Angie Fleshman

Posted in projects, curriculum, hints, homeschooling | No Comments »

May 4, 2010 by admin.

Book Review: Simply Homeschooling by Melinda Keen Lewis, MA, LPA, LSSP

Morris Publishing 2002

My friend picked this book up recently and thought it a refreshing look at home schooling. To us road-worn and (sometimes) weary - experienced folks, anything inspiring is welcome! When she passed it to me with accolades, I knew it would be a good book! I so liked the way it was written, I decided to do a book review here in case any of you would like to purchase it for yourselves. I know that it is available from CBD, but there may be additional sites to order from as well, including this address in the front of the book:

Lifestyle Learning

9704 Ravenna Court

Granbury, TX 76049

Neilmeltx@aol.com

(817)279-6262

I do not know if this is a current address, email, or telephone number.

Mrs. Lewis takes the verses Deuteronomy 11:18-19 and breaks them down into practical examples. She then takes each core subject and fine art, and gives real life experiences to guide a new homeschooler, or even an experienced one, in a relaxed, matter of fact, encouraging manner.

She gives highest authority to the King James Bible and acknowledges that without the Lord, we are nothing. His Word should be our first Bible Curriculum! Do not forsake the Bible!

As with any motivational materials, this book is chock full of great ideas, plans and excitement, but please do not feel that you must complete each of these things she mentions as a scope and sequence to have a well rounded home school. I do not believe that is the intent or purpose of her writings.

She has done a very thorough job of just telling us all to relax! Have fun! Listen and learn together with your children for a wonderful home schooling experience. As you learn and grow, hang in there with your fingers, teeth and toenails, and one day you can help someone else on their home school road just by telling your story and giving some examples of how the Lord brought you through a certain situation.

Another thing that I liked about the book is that Mrs. Lewis did not seem proud in her abilities or education (although she is capable and very well educated), but sites many sources that she has read from and learned from. There are ten pages of resource materials, books and helps listed at the back of the book. What she has gotten, she is freely giving- including the plan of Salvation! Excellent!

Simply Home schooling, in my opinion, should be a reference on any shelf! I hope you can purchase one for yourself to refer to in a down time when nothing seems to be going right. Remember that God will give you grace! I think homeschooling is something that never gets old and never gets stale. It just gets all the more exciting!

Happy Reading!

Posted in child rearing, curriculum, beginning, hints, homeschooling | No Comments »

March 12, 2010 by admin.

This is the time of year when homeschool assessments are being done. Consequently, this is the time of year when a lot of people who are debating about homeschooling start asking me questions. I would like to try and answer some of the more common questions here if possible for a reference to those whom I speak to. If you are like me, even though I’ve talked to someone, I like to have a written reference which I can go to if I forget something.

1. When do I send in my letter of intent? First of all, GOOD JOB in knowing that this is the first step to the legal process of homeschooling! Chances are, if you have gotten this far, you have already made up your mind to homeschool in the fall, and have been doing your own research. Letters of intent must be sent no later than two weeks before the first day of the school year. I don’t advise waiting that late. I do advise to send your letter Certified, especially in the first year you are homeschooling. Most of the time, we send in our letter with our children’s assessments. This year, however, I will have to send my letter separately because we chose the Portfolio option.

2. How should my child be assessed and when? First of all, WV law provides for three options for assessment. Option one is the WESTEST given at any public school. You must contact the school to order the test and arrange for testing. Most homeschoolers do not advise this option, for several reasons which I won’t get into at this time. Option two is to have your child take a standardized test such as the California Achievement Test, the Stanford Achievement Test, or the Iowa Test of Basic Skills. The test can be no older than ten years old. Most Christian schools do one of these tests, and I can assure you, they know how old the tests are ;). They are held to the same standard testing procedures. Up until this year, (and only because we chose portfolio) we have had no problems getting a Christian school to allow us to come and test with them. Organizations such as CHEWV also offer testing options through them. Option three is the Portfolio option. With this option, you much have a certified teacher assess your child’s work that he has done throughout the year and send in an assessment form to the board of education. Contrary to some people’s belief, you do not have to send your child’s portfolio to the board of ed.

Any of these forms of assessment have to be at your county’s board of education by June 30. The testing ’window’ varies, but is usually between March 1 and April 3. I always send my assessments by proof of receipt or certified mail. Yes, it costs some money, but it is worth the peace of mind to know that what you had to get in by a deadline, actually got there!

3. How much time do we have to spend ‘doing school’? There is no set amount of hours, time or days to the homeschooling calendar, but every parent concerned about their child’s education will have an idea about how much they know their child can handle in one day. Sure, there’s going to have to be some seatwork done, that’s part of learning to do things we don’t like to do! J But let me stress that paperwork and testing do not a classroom make! We used to go shopping, and Leah would tell the cashier how much my bill was before they hit the total button! She was doing math all through the store. It impressed ME the first time she did it. I didn’t know she was adding it up…tax included! J Reading road signs and billboards are good reading practice, not to mention trips to the library! Museums and arts centers are wonderful homeschooling tools. Don’t lock yourself in a box with a set number of pages or videos to watch every day. When the sun shines go play! They are only children once. I guarantee that if you apply yourself to homeschooling, it will show on assessments.

4. What do I mean by the last statement? Do you mean they don’t have to sit and do ‘work’ on paper? Well, in a word, yes. Here are some examples: When they are very small, and you are playing at a park, count the rungs on the ladder to the slide! How many times can you swing? See that sea-saw? What is it? Why does it work that way? Sounds like physical science. J The slide is a ramp. How far can you throw a rock? How fast can you run? (that’s Phys Ed!) Get fancy and use a stopwatch, or teach them to count the second hand on an analog watch! How fast does your heart beat after you run? How do you think your blood travels through your body? You know I can go on and on and ON with this school day and have never picked up a pencil. What’s that bug in the grass? How about that leaf? Which tree did it come from? How are clouds made? Why is the SKY BLUE???

Does that sound daunting to you? Then, I’m sorry. You are not ready to homeschool.

If it sounds fun and exciting and makes you want to go now… well, what’s keeping you?

Homeschooling IS a walk in the park - IF you apply yourself. You don’t know the answers to those questions? Well then, chances are your kids won’t either, because as far as I know, Government schools don’t do that.

Does it make you want to learn those things, and put a longing in your heart to teach? Well, then I’d say you’re ready.

Now, I have dear friends who are not physically able to go to the park and play with their kids. They honestly cannot run, they can’t get active because of ailments. That doesn’t mean they can’t homeschool. I have friends with other special needs - I refuse to use the word handicaps because they are NOT handicapped. They can do some things better than someone without their issues! I encourage them to homeschool also. Why? Because I know what homeschooling IS and what it is NOT.

In a word, homeschooling is instilling a love of learning in your child that will last a lifetime. It is not a tedious, boring, mental anguish that makes everyone hate learning.

Nobody, (I mean nobody!) knows everything. The learning process continues long after the twelfth grade whether you know it or not. Think about it, how many things can you think of that you learned after you got out of school? So just because you can’t do some things does not mean you can’t teach other things.

The last bit of advice I would give is …ask for help. Other homeschoolers with a true heart for kids won’t put you down because you have a limiting quality that keeps you from doing something like going to the park! Maybe they will take your kids when they take their kids? Homeschoolers ARE social! J Then, maybe one day, you can teach their kids something. I kind of hate to use a cliché, but - We’re all in this together! It is invaluable to have a homeschooling friend to talk to.

It is invaluable to have your kids with you; to watch them grow and learn and BECOME a productive adult capable of handling life’s cold, hard facts in an extraordinary way.

Posted in standardized testing, friends, teachers, Q&A, portfolio, curriculum, homeschooling, hints, beginning, letter of intent, Uncategorized | 2 Comments »

February 23, 2010 by admin.

This part was lost in the computer laundry….I might find it later lol….

Let’s go on to some Homeschooling Q & A Well, for the last three .. um…two…blogs, I’ve not really focused on homeschooling as much as getting to the heart of the spiritual issue of trust. I thought I would kind of get back on the subject of homeschooling for those of my followers who want to know about homeschooling, since they don’t need any spiritual advice

Posted in friends, teachers, opposition to homeschooling, attitude, comments, beginning, letter of intent, curriculum, homeschooling | 2 Comments »

February 4, 2010 by admin.

This is the second part to my WHY Bible Study. We get into a little bit of homeschooling/child rearing at this point, but I hope that you were benefitted by asking yourself ‘WHY we do what we do, and why we have given our lives to serving Jesus and doing his will ‘ (from the song- A Love Down Deep in My Heart, by the Rochester’s) I feel I again need to clarify that I am not intending to teach or preach to men, but to instruct younger women. If you are a man and are reading this, please take it or leave it. 

Part 2

1. Why ask why? I’m actually thinking about WHY we would ask God why about a situation, but a good way to study your King James Bible is to apply the law of first mentions which will give you a definition of a word or precept within the text of scripture in which it is found first.

The first time the word why is used in the Bible is in Genesis 4:6. Interestingly, it is not asked by man, but by God himself. He asks Cain- Why art thou wroth, and why is thy countenance fallen? Gen 4:7 If thou doest well, shalt thou not be accepted? and if thou doest not well, sin lieth at the door. And unto thee shall be his desire, and thou shalt rule over him.

I think God wants to show us something about asking the question ‘why’.

One, he wants to show us that he is reasonable. He gave Cain an “out”. He gave him a chance to explain himself. Cain brought the fruit of his own labor, and when he was called on the carpet for it, he found himself speechless. If you will notice, Cain doesn’t answer God, but goes and talks with his brother. Gen 4:8 And Cain talked with Abel his brother : and it came to pass, when they were in the field, that Cain rose up against Abel his brother, and slew him. He evidently didn’t get the sympathy from Abel that he was looking for! So one sin led to a bigger one, and he killed his brother. That was Cain’s free will and not God’s fault. He gave Cain a chance.

Two, God wants to show us that he is in control and we are accountable to Him.

Verse 7 says : If thou doest well, will thou not be accepted? and then he goes on to give Cain terms - IF this, then THAT. Eventually, Cain is punished by being sent out from the presence of God and everything he knows.

Three, since God is reasonable, and we are accountable to Him, He wants us to trust Him. What is the first thing that Cain did when God dismissed him? He went out to get a second opinion from his peer. He did not humble himself to God and get rid of the pride of his will. He was proud of that produce that he brought before the Lord. HE worked for it. He didn’t bring the sickly looking tomatoes and limp carrots and squishy cucumbers! Nosiree- he brought the best he had! And in itself, this is not bad, for we should give the Lord our best and our first fruits, but it was in his attitude where sin abode!

His attitude was the problem. The wrong sacrifice COULD have been fixed. He didn’t trust God to know what he was doing. He didn’t understand WHY his offering couldn’t be good enough. Of course, we realize that GOD was setting the standard - the “type” - of the blood sacrifice, a foreshadow of Christ’s blood shed for us.Leah has coined a curious word. She calls a bad attitude BADITUDE.

When we see folks with children who are:

1. Surly and bored-looking, who obey -most of the time- but with stooped shoulders and rolling eyes

2. Teenagers or pre-teens who never speak or smile unless they are talking to their friends

3. Who have an ‘impress me if you can’ air.

4. Church members’ kids- Kids who should be the happiest kids on earth with a Daddy who looks forward to coming home to Mamma, who treat them with love and respect, who would do anything possible to make them happy-

5. Kids who do what they are told, for the most part, but you can tell their heart is not in it. It’s not their idea so they are going to make life miserable for everyone else.

6. Kids who shouldn’t have a care in the world

These are homeschooled kids, public school kids, and Christian schooled kids.

We are saddened by their Baditude.

Even sadder is the fact that a lot of parents don’t seem to notice! As long as their child is not the one making a scene or embarrassing them in public, it’s all good. Just the moment the child gets out of hand in public, though, the parent exhibits one of three attitudes themselves.

One- AKA- Defeat. ‘I just don’t know what I did wrong to make Johnny or Susie do this’ (and they have not the strength to change it) They make excuses for the child’s behavior to you, but when they get home, a battle ensues, not for the child’s good, but because the parents were embarrassed. This only leads to the child learning what socially acceptable behavior is, and not changing their heart.

Two- they yell at the child until EVERYONE is embarrassed at the yelling instead of the original offense delivered by the child. The child usually yields to the parent at this point, depending on how old they are, and then the parent proudly accepts the victory over the situation and thinks they have it covered, and the child proudly starts doing something else socially unacceptable.

Three- They ignore the child until the child decides to stop doing whatever it is that is annoying everyone, and chalk it up to a phase that all kids have to go through and/or as a battle between children and grown-ups.

A long time ago, I sat my kids down and said. “Your Dad and I are NOT your enemies, and we want you to talk to us- not your peers - about how we make you feel. I do not want an “US against THEM” war going on in our house. We may not always agree with you, and may not let you have your way, but if you trust us, we can get through anything - because WE have already been there, and your friends haven’t. So if “US against THEM” is what you want, we’ll be on YOUR team. ”

When you hear the word “Whatever” come out of your child’s mouth - they have BADITUDE. They are not just ‘expressing their creativity’ as the school would have you believe. They are expressing their sinful nature! But they are also questioning your authority.

DEAR PARENT, it’s not enough to have a well trained and obedient child.

WHY do our children have bad attitudes?

Well, are we reasonable toward them as God was reasonable to Cain? Or do we just get mad and throw scripture at them and say they MUST honor their father and mother, and JUST BECAUSE I SAID SO? Because I’m The MOM!- that’s WHY!? Do they see US honoring God, just because HE said so? Even on our bad days? Let’s be consistent.

Do they realize they are accountable to us, as we are accountable to God? And do we remember that we are accountable to God- FOR them- at least for a good part of their lives.

Do they trust us?

Try this at home if your children are still small enough to handle: and for Pete’s sake, don’t make a big deal out of it or tell them WHY…just have some fun. YOU know why, and that’s what counts.

Stand your child in front of you and tell them to close their eyes and fall backward into your arms. If they do it, they TRUST that you will catch them. (What if they look over their shoulders while doing it and give a nervous laugh?) It might take a time or two, but I bet they will get used to it.

You have had a training session in trust and faith, in you, and eventually in Christ.

But what if they don’t do it? Well, training sessions are NOT designed to make your child feel inadequate or embarrassed. If they don’t trust you, it’s your fault.

Do not punish them, and don’t - by any means- fall apart in front of them and scream WHY DON’T YOU TRUST ME? Cry to GOD to show you why you lost that trust, and how you can get it back. Then dry your eyes, pull up your pants -um…straighten your skirt… and be consistent in your walk and talk and know WHY you tell Johnny and Susie to do this or that.

By the way, there is no real science to parenting, although advice is helpful. I am in no way calling you a bad parent! I am but trying to get you to listen to some hard-gained wisdom and instruction through my OWN trial and error and by my watching others and deciding there must be a better way. If you see fault in my family, just look for a better way to do it than us, and I’m sure the Lord will be pleased if you honor Him in all you do. Once God fixes you, then you can show others (Psalm 51).

So Why ask Why? Is it wrong to ask God why? I have to conclude that it is not wrong to ask God why, because there are so many other instances in the Bible where someone asks Him why. David asks why a LOT in the Psalms.

So next time we’ll talk about examples of HOW to ask God why.

Posted in philosophy, attitude, child rearing, hints, homeschooling | 3 Comments »

November 3, 2009 by admin.

Well it’s about time for the first 9 weeks report cards to come out.  If your family is like mine, it may happen, or it may not!  Since we have been travelling so much this fall, it’s not likely that a report card will be due any time in the next week or two.  But I WILL get it done.  :)   And I expect good progress for the most part, too.  I don’t just look at actual scores.  I’m not talking about cooking the books either.  I am talking about an attitude grade. 

When looking at the letter of the law, always remember to run to the cross as fast as you can.  For the law is only a schoolmaster - and a harsh one, I must say!!!    It only shows us what we cannot accomplish.  But the law of grace! Oh how precious to hear those words - you’re forgiven!   What a day, when I met Christ, my Savior!  And he took away my guilt an shame!  What a day when Jesus paid my ransom, and he placed his Spirit deep within!   Jesus paid it all!  All to HIM I owe! 

Okay- my glory spell is over now!  :) 

What I am talking about is- DO NOT be a pushover with your children.  Justice is justice, and if they didn’t do their work happily and thoroughly, they do not need A+’s.   Be sure to have certain expectations.  BUT always err on the side of grace when it comes to attitude. 

Once (it seems like a very long time ago) a preacher used his pastoral authority in a very wrong way, and admonished his congregation to serve the Lord out of sheer duty even if they were told to do things above their ability by those in authority over them.  He went on to say that it did not matter in which attitude they served, it just counted that they did it.  They were in a position of servitude, and they were to do as told and ask no questions because it just counted in the eyes of God that they did what was “right”, not in motive. 

 But that’s not right!  I can hear you screaming at the screen.  Consequently, when folks in authority act that way, God has a way of making things right.  He was removed from office.

Remember that when you are looking for a certain amount of work to be done by your little one.  You’re in authority, yes.  They should obey you, yes.  However, your NEED for a certain amount of work to be finished for their portfolios is kind of selfish.  You want to ’show them off’ at the end of the year!!!  I hear you. 

I caution you, do not look for the unsatisfied amount in your children; but concentrate on the good.  They are learning.  The burden of proof is NOT on them.  It is on YOU.  
Think about it.  Does it really matter if all the G’s on the paper are in the lines the first time?   Do it again later after they have learned to do it through practice.  Show progress.  Does it matter if there are no ‘oopsies’ outside the lines?   What is a noun, what is a verb?  Can they do square roots?  TEACH them the terms, but in practice.  In a way they can understand.

Oh there is so much I want to say!!  There is not enough room.  (Confessing another fault. I talk too much! haha) 

I guess I better get back to report cards.  I WILL get it done. 

One day there WILL be a judgment at the throne of God.  If we are saved, we will be judged  for our works.  I am ashamed to say that many of my works will be burned up and there might be a pile of ashes at my feet instead of crowns.  I’m trying to get it together, I really am!  And that counts.  My attitude DOES count.  (Ask for my Pastor’s message about an Inconvenient Truth, and it will explain this blog better!!!)   I’m gettin’ rid of the big I in my life as best as I can! 

Of course, if you are not saved, most of this stuff doesn’t matter because you will not be judged for your works, but for rejecting the most precious gift that was ever given - salvation through the blood of Jesus Christ.  You will be standing at a totally different judgment.  Be SURE your sins will find you out.  You need to be saved if you are not. 

Admit you are a sinner.  Repent of your sins, and ask Jesus Christ to save you from your sins.  Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ and you will be saved.   If you have questions regarding the issue of salvation, please contact us at thehoys@hoyfamily.net

Posted in attitude, report cards, curriculum, homeschooling | 1 Comment »

October 21, 2009 by admin.

The still, gray days of November are upon us, and it’s a big temptation to sleep in and let the day go by without accomplishing much school-wise.  We justify it by saying no one would get anything out of it anyway because they can’t concentrate when they feel so ‘blah’. It’s a huge temptation to turn on the TV or video for the little ones while we sip hot tea or chocolate and catch up on Facebook or latest gossip on the phone, or read.   Been there, done that. (Jas 5:16 Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.)   

It’s on the gray days that we have to deal with the “I don’t want to’s” of those who are still learning character. (We ARE responsible to teach them that, you know. J ) When we show weakness in consistency, it’s so easy for them to see it.  A good rule of thumb is:  There is more caught than taught. 

If your children have been in public school, or even Christian school, it is now probably the time when they will say things like, “It was more fun in school than here at home” or “I miss my friends.”  Because I homeschooled from the beginning, I never had to wade through the ‘school comparison’  muck.  I know it’s hard when they have had fun with friends and now all the sudden they are faced with temptation.  YES, I said temptation (1 Corinthians 10:13.)  Even always-homeschooled kids tend to complain at times. That’s how I know it’s a temptation!

It is easier to skip that fight, rather than pick it today. So don’t fight.  You are the parent. You make the rules.   No, beating them is not an option!  They do have an opinion.  They just expressed it.  Now, you must show wisdom and discretion.  They are old enough to understand the Lord’s plan for the home.  Re-iterate that with a smile on your lips and a song in your heart and you will be a wise parent.  Do you honestly think that our enemies (the world, the flesh and the Devil) want it to be easy?  Step up, homeschooling parent.  You are not only fighting YOUR blahs, but also your children’s blahs. 

Be encouraged! Remember, that everyone has a bad day now and then, and sometimes even a bad week sneaks up on us!  Everyone is subject to them, everyone fails now and then!  But get back up.  Don’t give up! Don’t get overwhelmed!

There are ways around the blahs.

Make it fun. Bake cookies.  Tell stories.  Bundle up and gather pretty leaves, then drink hot cocoa with marshmallows!   Soon, Thanksgiving will be here!  Start on a Thanksgiving project.  Make pretty napkin holders from construction paper for the table, or start a paper chain for the Christmas tree.  No, it’s not too early!   Bake an apple pie for dessert. Draw a picture for Daddy.  Fingerpaint a fall tree! Use the leaves you gathered to make a picture!   Life has to be lived.  Paperwork has to be done, but then – have a HOME school.  Enjoy your children while they are small.  If they are half grown, like mine, they tend to do what they have to do without much whining.  But I have been where you are. 

That doesn’t mean that I have stopped fighting the blahs of my household. Today I have filled my house with good smells – a candle in the warmer, chili in the crock pot, a fresh pot of coffee.  I have turned on the washing machine and swept the carpet (when the floor is clean the whole house looks better!)  I am listening to some upbeat Irish music as I write, and remembering my friends who have been such a blessing to me!  I have on warm, snuggy house shoes given to me by my sister, Maggie.  I have on clothes given to me by my bestest friend, Patricia, and another great sister in Christ.  I have food to spare in the pantry, and my bills are paid!  My husband has work today.  My kids are (mostly) well;

I am reaping the benefits of early training.  Sarah is doing Biology and Economics.  Leah is teaching

You don’t have to live in chaos.  God is not the author of confusion -1 Cor. 14:33.  And I honestly don’t think he’s the author of the blahs.  You can win this battle today, Child of God!  Pray for me, I am praying for you.  J

Posted in child rearing, comments, hints, homeschooling | No Comments »